“I’m afraid I’m too old and wrinkled; what if women don’t find me attractive anymore?”
“I’m afraid I’m too young, and women won’t find me “manly enough” - just see me as a boy!”
An early experience of the “gift of the group” took place in the opening event for a festival for sacred sexuality. The workshop leader asked everyone to join two others for our first exercise. I was super nervous. I’d never been to such an event in my life. I felt dowdy. At home, my black dress seemed pretty sexy, but compared to the lithe ladies in burning man-worthy outfits around me, I felt decidedly…middle aged. We all take a deep breath and prepare to answer the following prompt: What are you most afraid of as we begin the festival? I’m standing in a circle with two men. The first confesses that, even though he feels he has a lot to offer, he’s afraid his white hair signals that he’s too old to be sexy; the second man, unaware of the irony of his statement, confesses that he feels too young to draw the attention of women at the festival. He is afraid they will see his hairless chest and consider him inexperienced. And there I was, in the middle, wondering, “Damn. Is there any age in which we feel attractive and sexy?”
We’ve all got hang-ups about sexuality - body image, triggers, performance anxiety, shame, fear of rejection and power issues - but in every workshop, there’s always SOMEONE in the room who gets it, who is dealing with THAT issue I was sure was uniquely mine. It’s a huge relief to feel part of a community, even a temporary one, that is sharing authentically and listening with empathy to my most shameful and hidden vulnerabilities. I’m always in awe at how much the gift of the group, the magic, depends on a skilled workshop leader who knows how to lead a group through the muddy waters of revelation, analysis and empowerment.
I believe the energy, the support and contagious eros of the group can be a powerful agent for healthy change. Group emotional work allows us to connect on a deep and authentic level and to feel less alone, less crazy and less of a freak. So, I decided to study the art of group leadership. The course was a practical laboratory to design and test ideas for leading groups through meaningful processes using our unique skills and personal strengths. As a result, I’ve created workshops that I am excited to offer, all in the field of sexual wellness and intimacy.
Follow me for upcoming workshops and events! Each workshop will have a different focus, but all are consistent with my mission: To help people understand what they need and want, and to help them learn to express it!
In the meantime, if you need support, contact me for a free initial consult.
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