“downthere”

What do you call it? “Lady Parts” “The Bits?” “Chacha?”

There’s a movement these days to teach children the proper names of body parts, especially those parts we don’t usually name (guess which ones?) For example, to distinguish between the labia, the vulva and the vagina. We don’t confuse our lips with our throat or our mouth, and we’d be concerned if kids did. Taboos about our bodies can leave us without language to communicate about our body; we can get “stuck” with the cutesy names our parents used.

A lack of language leaves us mute and, more often than not, unable to communicate about our intimate desires, pains and needs. One of the first exercises I offer clients is to spend some time in front of the mirror, to observe and draw their own genitals. Often it’s the first time they ever really take a look. Many are saddened by the realization that they are totally disconnected from this core part of their own bodies. Or to realize that their partners “know” their bodies better than they do. Are you curious about the connection between language and sexuality? What would happen if you, too, talked about it openly? Join me in the clinic (also available online) to talk about this stuff in a safe, supportive and meaningful way!